3 days in..

So, I have had a bit of a “hiatus” from my normal healthy eating / exercise programme. I was blaming the long commute to and from work, the stressful environment my fiancé and I are in with caring for his father, and the cold winter months and its comfort foods (its winter in Australia now).

However, now my long commute has stopped, we have rented a house within a 20 minute drive to my work, I am there on my own during the week, so literally have full control of my meals and can cater them to exactly what I need, I have waaay more time to exercise, morning or night – so why not both right? Its the perfect time to start again.

The situation with caring for my partners father is starting to ease. Although at the moment there is more work involved with caring as his condition is starting to deteriorate, the process of being able to get him into proper care has started so there is a light at the end of that tunnel, we will be able to take a breath knowing that he is being cared for properly and my partner and I will be able to have some quality regular one on one time. We have been caring for his father since we got together, and although I would never change that situation, it has been amazing being able to support and help get his Dad to the best health he can be in, it is also time for my partner and I to focus on our relationship.

So here I am .. 3 days in to my return to looking after my health and fitness and this morning I dragged myself out of bed to do a 30 min walk before work, my legs were tight and sore from my at home workout last night, I had lemon water with my breakfast and go to work feeling full of energy and ready to start the day. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.

I have a mini goal to work towards, I am catching up with some of my best friends at the end of August, they are all going to be my bridesmaids, we are heading out for dinner and drinks and I have this super cute dress I want to wear, however, its a little snug, I would LOVE to be able to wear the dress comfortably and with confidence, so I made a promise to myself to make good use of my time with good activity and be very mindful of what I am putting in my mouth.

Those good feelings about myself are starting to come back. I had lost those for a bit, I was starting to feel self conscious, frumpy and awkward again. Starting to doubt myself and be anxious, the negative thoughts I used to feel about myself always, slowly seeping back into my brain space. Its really hard to keep those thoughts at bay when things aren’t going so well and when there is stress around, I start to doubt everything in my life, the decisions I am making, my relationship, my friendships, not feeling worthy of those good things. It can be very unsettling having come so far from that place, but realising it can be just around the corner again if I let it. Good food and good activity/exercise really is such a good mood enhancer for me now. It works pretty instantly, it doesn’t have any bad side effects, and I know that I feel the way I feel because I let those good things slip.

So here I am .. 3 days in, feeling alot better, being mindful, so here’s hoping that mini goal and that cute dress are achievable.


3 days in..

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