Well here we are again… it’s been a minute since i’ve taken the time to write down some of the things that have been going on.
And there certainly has been a lot going on over the last 2 years. I have definitely felt a lot more like my old self, a lot less like the person I was working so hard to be – my true self.
Over the last 2 years, I have given birth to my 2nd beautiful Son, meaning I had 2 boys under 2 (Send wine). We have entered a Global Pandemic , enduring lockdowns, restrictions, mask mandates, and separation from family and friends.
During this time, I went back to work when Bohdi was 3 months old, which hurt my heart in more ways than I could have ever imagined. My husband lost his job due to the pandemic and started his own business. The company I was working for went through a merger, and we spent months waiting to find out if my job was safe or not.
So to say it’s been a big couple of years, might be a little bit of an understatement.
I do feel like there has been a downward shift in my mental health during this time, where I have wholeheartedly refused to take care of myself, using babies/work/stress/pain/lack of time as an excuse. I no longer feel like myself, although I do recognise this feeling, but I made a promise to myself that I would never get back here… and i didnt keep that promise.
Not only have I put back on a decent amount of weight, I have suffered with severe anxiety and depression, neither of which makes me feel great and both have fed into each other making each situation harder than it should be. I do not feel like I have been the best mum or wife I could have been, I dont have alot of photos of me with the kids, because I don’t like how I look, I really want to change this. I want to feel better, be more comfortable and confident, I want to keep up with my extremely active kids.
I am ready to take on the challenge to make some changes and turn my life around again… I have done it before, I can do it again. I am going to be gentle on myself, slow and steady wins the race, I am excited to feel strong and fit again, I am excited to wear 50% of my wardrobe again. I am excited to show my sons how fun I can be.
Wish me luck …