Guess who’s Back..

Well here we are again… it’s been a minute since i’ve taken the time to write down some of the things that have been going on. 


And there certainly has been a lot going on over the last 2 years. I have definitely felt a lot more like my old self, a lot less like the person I was working so hard to be – my true self. 


Over the last 2 years, I have given birth to my 2nd beautiful Son, meaning I had 2 boys under 2 (Send wine). We have entered a Global Pandemic , enduring lockdowns, restrictions, mask mandates, and separation from family and friends. 


During this time, I went back to work when Bohdi was 3 months old, which hurt my heart in more ways than I could have ever imagined. My husband lost his job due to the pandemic and started his own business. The company I was working for went through a merger, and we spent months waiting to find out if my job was safe or not. 


So to say it’s been a big couple of years, might be a little bit of an understatement. 


I do feel like there has been a downward shift in my mental health during this time, where I have wholeheartedly refused to take care of myself, using babies/work/stress/pain/lack of time as an excuse. I no longer feel like myself, although I do recognise this feeling, but I made a promise to myself that I would never get back here… and i didnt keep that promise. 


Not only have I put back on a decent amount of weight, I have suffered with severe anxiety and depression, neither of which makes me feel great and both have fed into each other making each situation harder than it should be. I do not feel like I have been the best mum or wife I could have been, I dont have alot of photos of me with the kids, because I don’t like how I look, I really want to change this. I want to feel better, be more comfortable and confident, I want to keep up with my extremely active kids. 


I am ready to take on the challenge to make some changes and turn my life around again… I have done it before, I can do it again. I am going to be gentle on myself, slow and steady wins the race, I am excited to feel strong and fit again, I am excited to wear 50% of my wardrobe again. I am excited to show my sons how fun I can be. 


Wish me luck … 


xxx 

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Guess who’s Back..

Let’s start at the very beginning.. it’s a very good place to start … 

We had a plan … we discussed it .. once we got back from our honeymoon, I would go off the pill and get my body back into a regular cycle. Or see what sort of cycle I would have .. you see, I have PCOS .. and had been on the pill for about 15 years, so didn’t really know what was going to happen. 

I lost close to 50 kgs a few years ago in preparation for hopefully helping my PCOS and being able to have a baby .. so went to see a Gyno just to discuss options and things to do given my age and history… at 33 I was absolutely not getting any younger. 

The doctor told me as my periods were super regular ( I could set my watch to my periods-it was bizzare- prior to weight loss and being on pill I has noooo idea when I would get one or how long it would stay around for) try for a baby for 6 months and if nothing happens go back to him and we could discuss pre IVF treatments. I had always thought that might have to be a possibility, but to hear if from a doctor was quite emotional. 

Anyway, I went home, via the chemist .. I got a stack of ovulation tests, pregnancy test and downloaded a few different ovulation tracker apps to prepare myself. This is October 2016. Now I had said to my husband that I didn’t want our “lovemaking” to become a scheduled chore to produce a baby .. to get worked up about exact times and days .. not to start with.. I wanted us to enjoy the process as much as possible… so basically when I knew I was coming up to my ovulation stage I would let my husband know what days could be good for some time between the sheets and then let him make his move! 

As it was coming up to xmas, we had family around and lots of engagements well into the new year, so it wasnt the most productive time, but we had decided come mid feb, we would start getting more serious with trying. That’s when I would count our “6months” of trying from. 

So mid Feb rolled around .. and we rolled around … and it was only just the beginning … 
Xx

Let’s start at the very beginning.. it’s a very good place to start … 

I’ll have some double standards on the rocks thanks.

So there seems to be so much hate  and non-acceptance in the world at the moment and I am finding it increasingly hard to take.

When did people become so nasty? Why is one person’s point of view better than another’s?

I had always believed that our differences were what made each other unique and special, not better than someone else, not worse than someone else.

What I am seeing a lot of at the moment is negativity towards the younger generations, specifically The Gen Y’s (my era) and the Millennials.

I am in a workplace where I am the only Gen Y, by a long shot. Conversations within the office are often about “Ye Goode Olde Days” and of course I couldn’t possibly contribute because I have no idea.

However a lot of conversations get turned to the “youth of today”, “the lack of respect”, “the lack of knowledge and understanding”, “the screen obsessed generation”, “social media obsessed”, “Lazy, entitled generation”. The negative comments that get made about my generation and the ones that follow, are hurtful and simply untrue.

Yes of course like every group of people there are a few “radicals” that give a group a bad name, however, as a majority the “youth of today” are good people,  hardworking, driven, kind, thoughtful people. Some of the most successful people I know are from my own Generation and they have got there by gritting their teeth and defying the odds that were stacked against them, not because they are lazy or entitled.

I am going to give some examples of things that I often see in a “Baby boomer vs Gen Y” explanation.

Each morning when I arrive to work, there is often 1 sometimes 2 baby boomers in the office already, at desks, steaming cup of coffee in hand, I head to kitchen to get my heart starter- kettle is empty. I fill up kettle make myself a brew, top kettle up, and boil again, its nearly peak arrival time, someone will be walking through the door any minute craving their caffeine hit, how good for them, they only have to wait 1 min instead of 5 for the kettle to boil? #youarewelcome #fromthethoughtlessgeny #maybeitsjustme

In the supermarket, as I walk the aisles searching for my weekly provisions, I step to the side to allow the older lady with her trolley through, she stops, blocking me in with nowhere to go, she decides to turn around mid-aisle, right where I am patiently waiting for her to go past, and rams trolley into me. There was no “excuse me” “Im sorry dear” nothing. Instead I apologized for clearly being in her way.. and I got a snooty look and a grunt. #genyhasnomanners

Often there are conversations in our office about “this younger generation” so obsessed with technology, always on their phones, have to share everything on social media, can’t live without their technology, whatever happened to just making a phone call or writing a letter.

Let’s look at some facts about the above (o.k. probably not actual fact, but bloody good points if you ask me).

  1. Emails are a quick and cost effective means of communication that travel worldwide in an instant – why, when this technology is available, would you, on the regular, send an actual letter that you actually need a response to? NEVER, that’s when. Don’t get me wrong, me and friend are still “pen pals” and write actual letters from time to time and its awesome… never practical, but its lovely.
  2. Maybe back in “ye goode olde times” people didn’t travel so often, and that’s ok, that how it was back then, you knew the people on your street, maybe the one over and that was it? You may have had the weird alternative aunt who lived at the beach a few hours away. However, in the “now” people travel, to new cities, new countries, and people make friends from these new places, yet still want to keep in contact with people from home and so on and so forth, Social Media is great for this, it allows a snapshot into someone’s life that you are interested in, you can see their achievements and awesome paleo meals or baby vomit updates from wherever you are, and in a big wide scary world, when you are miles away from your family and friends, keeping in contact like this, brings those people to the palm of your hand, and well that’s just beautiful.
  3. And yes whilst a lot of Gen Y are really on the tech bandwagon, it’s the way forward – get on board or get left behind. I can’t imagine little Marmie, who used to hand wash all her clothes in the river because it was the only way, screwing her nose up at the automatic washing machine? I don’t think great granny would have said “no thanks, I don’t need a refrigerator, this old ice box works a treat”. Its progress… its going crazy fast, but this is the world we live in, it can’t be turned back. Technology doesn’t have to “rule” your life to make the most of it.
  4. My final point…. When you have an issue with your technology, who you gonna call fix all of your problems because you knew better and didn’t read the install instructions? An educated, hardworking, tech obsessed Gen Y or Millennial , that’s who.

Acceptance of new and change also seems to be something that is a significant stand out point in this generational warfare.

We have to have the radio station on some classic hits station because the oldies don’t like this new/head banging music. But I have to put up with and LIKE their old/head banging music.

It frustrates me that the acceptance regards to music or technology or equality or progress is so hard for some older generations, when they are here living in this world alongside us, yet us younger generation are expected to respect and understand the trials and tribulations of a world we were never a part of.

Of course each and every single era in time has my complete and utter respect for the sacrifices made that has allowed us to live in this world as we know it. Nothing can take away from the brave men and woman who have given everything for the future generations. But perhaps some need to be reminded that today, right now, there are many of my generations people giving everything they have for us today and for those that come after us.

This is not to say that one generation is better than the other, it’s to understand that each is different and has a very different set of skills and experiences. If we can learn to embrace each changing generation instead of tearing it down, what a world that would be.

There are some treasured things from older generations that will never be old and I find myself turning to these more often, nothing makes me feel better than making a big batch of old fashioned vege soup just like my Nana used to make. Making something for someone instead of store bought. However seeing my friends be successful regardless of their age, race, gender or sexual preference, because our world is slowly becoming more accepting is inspiring and being able to keep in connect with friends all over the world with a click of a button makes the distance between home and wherever we wander that little bit shorter.

#love

I’ll have some double standards on the rocks thanks.

Antisocial Social Media

Antisocial social media…

So I’m going to have a rant..

We live in a world where everything is at the touch of your fingers, email, text, facebook, twitter, insta, google etc. you can reach people on the other side of the world in seconds with one press of a button. The information and images at our disposal are endless. We sit behind our keyboards and peer into other people’s lives from the comfort and privacy of; well anywhere we like these days.

And I love it!

I love seeing what friends from far away are doing, what my fave celebs are wearing, what fitness gurus have for breakfast and how some random stranger has achieved something, If I want to send someone a funny meme about chicken wings I can google it and boom it’s in my message and its great.

What I don’t love is the hate that is associated with social media.

And I am not talking about the “the youth of today are so obsessed with their phones” type hate (that’s another rant for another day), I am talking about the hate that gets inflicted upon someone who chooses to post on social media.

Why do people think that it is ok to write such nasty hate messages to someone they have never met/know nothing about – except for what is visible on their media pages – and let’s be honest – we ALL know that only the best pics and good things in life are posted on social media – regular joes like me do that, and the super mega stars of the world do it too.

There has been so much negative media about social media and enough is enough.

Why is it ok to tear someone down because they are happy with themselves, or their achievements?

Why is it ok to spew hatred about one particular group of people because of a few extremist?

Why is it ok to judge someone on their sexual orientation?

Its never been OK to do such things, but it has been accepted to do so – for a really long time.

What gets me the most is the attitude of “Well they put themselves out there on social media, they should expect to get some criticism”. This is something I 100% disagree with. It’s like saying “oh she dates a violent guy, she should expect to get abused”. Does that make it ok?

This needs to change – NOW. Just because we have become immune and it’s something “that always been done” doesn’t mean that its ok.

Just because something is the way it is, doesn’t make it right.

You know what, if I don’t like someone’s nude selfie, or their political or religious view point – I just scroll on past. I do not launch an attack of my opinion on to them, they have not asked me for it.** SHARING ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT THE SAME AS ASKING FOR AN OPIONION** (unless opinion is specifically request – i.e Does my butt look big in these jeans) And No, I didn’t ask to see that persons naked body or that other persons backwards viewpoint on the LBGT community – however they are either a celeb type person I have chosen to follow or they are my own friend/acquaintance that I am connected to on some type of media platform. If I don’t like what they want to share – or their opinions and don’t want to see them I can simply unfollow/unfriend or just turn off seeing their posts. SIMPLES!

I often wonder, what would happen if, for a 48 hour period, people only wrote positive comments towards others.

Instead of the hate comments directed to a beautiful active fit pregnant 1st time expectant mother, how bout saying “You’re growing a human in that toned body of yours and that is a beautiful thing”.

Instead of bashing a young girl who has posted her weightloss/weightgain/something, who has clearly struggled with self-esteem issues and body issues, how bout saying “beautiful then, beautiful now”.

Instead of slamming that celeb who lives their life in front of the camera, shows the highs and lows for their fans to see, how bout saying “You are really brave”.

Perhaps we should consider only commenting things we would say to that persons face. Like if you ran into those people on the street, would you say those same nasty comments to them?

Perhaps people need to remember that “What Sarah says about Sally, says more about Sarah than Sally”.

My general rule for commenting on anything on social media is this:

If I do not like it – Nil Comment, scroll past – or if I find it super offensive – unfollow/unfriend

If I like it – say something to that effect i.e. “That dress looks great” “oooh your acai bowl looks delish where is that from”

It does not matter if someone is tall, short, fat, skinny, famous, rich, homeless, gay, straight, male or female, black, brown, white or yellow, this religion, that religion OR anything in between. IT DOES NOT MATTER. If you cut each person, each person would bleed. We all stand under the same sky and sleep under the same moon, we all have something great about us, something to offer the world, regardless of how big or small that something is. Don’t be mean to each other.

And if all else fails, my mum always told me “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

I would rather appear quiet than ignorant.

Spread some love today xoxox

Everyone loves music right, perhaps if we all listened to the words of some famous lyrics the world might be a better place:

#hateonlygenerateshate

#whattheworldneedsnowislovesweetlove

#allweneedislove

#healtheworldmakeitabetterplace

#foryouandformeandtheentirehumanrace

Antisocial Social Media

He liked it, so he put a ring on it!!!!!!

OMG I am getting MARRIED!!!

Like seriously, my best friend, love of my life, asked me to be his wife!! And I screamed YES!!!!!

I was feeling like I needed a little motivation to really concentrate on loosing the last 10-15kgs I want to, and well boy oh boy did the universe send me some motivation or what?!?!?!

So this is how the weekend of amazingness transpired…

We often go away to a little country town, about an hour away from home, there is a cute little cottage we stay in, we can take the dog, its in the middle of no where with nothing to do but relax, drink wine and sit in the hot tub. We love it, its our little idyllic getaway spot and we try to go every few months.

When my love got his tax return not so long ago, he declared he got a little bit extra than anticipated and with that extra cash we would book our little cabin and treat ourselves and even suggested having massages before we headed up there as we have both been training pretty hard recently. So naturally I am all keen for this and start prepping for our normal little weekend away, and just as it happens I had a day in Lieu owing to me at work so decided to use that on the Monday as we could only get into the cottage Saturday and Sunday nights.

On Saturday morning, I was a little stressed out, trying to get everything done around the house, cook food for us to take and get us packed, (We have a deal, he organises and takes me away for the weekend and I arrange the food and the packing) but I managed to get everything I wanted to done and we walked out and headed off for our massages, to then I learn that not only am I having a 1hr relaxation massage, but also a 30min reflexology treatment, a full 90 mins of bliss. I am still in the dark and non suspecting of his engagement plans, I am just thinking that I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such a wonderful man.

Once our treatments were done, we floated home, picked up our bags and the dog and headed for the country, upon arriving into the driveway, instead of taking the track to the right to our normal converted garage type cottage accommodation, he turns to the left, up towards the big 4 bedroom holiday house with a pool and a view across the valley!! I was sooo excited and thought “WOW, what an awesome surprise”. Still in complete and utter darkness.

We settled in and we relaxed for a bit then chipped some golf balls in the back yard and had a few drinks with a cheese platter on the deck while looking out at the tranquil view just having a normal conversation. My love got up from his seat to “refill” our drinks and upon his return he started with ” So baby, there is another reason as to why I wanted to bring you out here” as he is saying this he is reaching into his pocket and pulls out a ring and drops to his knee. (This is where I kind of start to find it hard to breathe and just start saying “OH MY GOD” over and over again with hot tears running down my face.”

He had tears in his eyes as he told me how he felt about me and how I was “the one” and he had never been so sure about anything in his life, he said some other truly amazing things also, something’s that have blurred with all the emotion , something’s are too precious and I don’t to tell, I don’t want to let go of those words and put them out in the world, those words are just for me.

My heart was pounding in my chest it was so full and still is. I thought it was going to burst right through. I am still in the most wonderful bubble. We spent the rest of the weekend crying together and laughing together and planning some parts to our future together.

So now, I have more motivation than ever to loose these last 10-15kgs, to concentrate on getting fit and healthy, to make sure I am exactly where I want to be on our special day.

He liked it, so he put a ring on it!!!!!!