The uncertainty of things that are uncertain

I am a notorious planner. I like to plan things, I like to take control and organise things, and I am often anxious when I cannot make plans and organise things, I feel like things will turn out terribly.

At the moment, we are still in the long process of getting my partners father into a care facility. The procedure is taking a lot longer than we had originally thought it would. So things are still not settled in that regard. So planning to get my partner living with me asap is on hold until that is sorted.

Also, my partner is in the process of joining the Army. He has just about completed all of the requirements that are needed – medicals etc, and he has been approved, pending said medicals, for the roles he has applied for. However, once the medicals are all submitted and approved, it is again, another waiting game. Right now, they cannot give us a certain “call up” time frame. Like will he be going in before Christmas? Will it be early New Year, is it only going to be the middle of next year, and interfere with all of our wedding plans?

This uncertainty is doing my head in. I hate it when things are so up in the air, I do not do very well when everything is so uncertain. Especially when it comes to the big things, I like to be really organised, well in advance. There is 10 months and 2 weeks until our current scheduled wedding day. I have the big things locked in ie: Celebrant, venues, dress, cake, photos, video etc and have paid deposits for what I needed to lock in, however I am now at a stage where, until things are more certain, I don’t want to organise anything else, but I want everything organised. My head and heart and pulling in all directions and its very frustrating.

As we have recently moved, I am also looking for a new gym, I really enjoy going to the gym and need to go regularly. However, in regards to the Army situation also, if my partner goes in to the Army in a month, there will be 6 months of training then he will be posted somewhere around Australia, it could be in Brisbane, where we currently are, or it could be in Darwin, or Townsville, or some other place, miles away from where we are at the moment, so should or shouldn’t I join up to a gym and sign a contract for 12 months?

Christmas is another dilemma. This Christmas is my family’s big Christmas get together, we do it every other year. It is meant to be the 1st one that my Partner is coming to. With what is happening with his Dad going into care, and the Army, we are uncertain if he is going to be able to come. I have to go, my Mum is celebrating her 60th Birthday over the holidays and its my Niece’s 1st birthday. I am all booked to go, however if we wait to much longer its going to be completely unaffordable for my partner to go, plus trying to get the dog into the Kennels last minute never works out well.

As I type this, feeling super anxious, stressed and frustrated, I think joining a gym and signing a contract is a good idea regardless of what the future holds. A good heavy work out calms me down, settles my nerves and makes me more clear headed. In the uncertainty of things that are uncertain, I am certain that I will never regret one of those work outs, and then I can just let everything else work its self out.

So right now, things are a bit less certain and a bit more stressful than I like, however I am certain that once everything starts falling into place, everything is going to work out ok….. But please have your fingers crossed for me in the meantime.

xxx

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The uncertainty of things that are uncertain

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